Brown Paper Notebook #2

I've got a bad case of writers block.  It's probably a good thing though as I've got a stack of my 'real job' stuff keeping me quite busy at the moment.  So my blog doesn't get too neglected, I've dusted off a classic entry from the Brown Paper Notebook, my teenage journal I stumbled upon a month or so ago.  Enjoy...


She sits on the bus.  Desperately, she attempts to concentrate on one thought for more than two seconds.  She needs this precious time by herself to think of urgent matters such as finding employment, repairing a broken friendship and pondering the seemingly wasted month spent with her father in a desperate attempt to rekindle any resemblance of a stable family life.  She fleetingly manages to grasp a thought, but her heart won't let her.


She has met a man.  A gorgeous, amazing and exciting man with whom she spent the most amazing nights of her life.  She prays to God.  The same God to whom she prayed at age 10 when she was desperate for the return of her stolen bike.  God was good to her back then and she now prayed he could register that same level or urgency in her silent voice.  


It had now been eight days since he promised to her a phone call in 10 days, or was it 15 days?  She couldn't remember.  The component of the brain named memory is often excluded when matters of the heart are concerned.  This often leads to a disgusting confusion of the actual facts, when regurgitated to friends in a flurry of romantic, lusty excitement.


She could paint the picture how ever she liked, but deep down she knew he would never call.  Her heart, although as beautiful and sweet as a blooming scarlet rose had become infected with the disease of trust.  He was a stranger, the most remarkable stranger that had ever passed through her life. It was for this reason, that she dared her thoughts to venture beyond the realm of her practicality...


The girl on the bus staggers out of her fantasy.  The next few days will surely be hell.  If he phones, her fantasy will be fulfilled.  If not, a scar will be embedded on her heart that only the love of her one true love can erase.